My previous pastor was a gangster before he was a Christian, who later became my godfather.
When I was heavy into the dystopian gente and zombie apocalypse ideas were on the rise, I asked him if he could tell me how to hot wire a care. My thoughts were that if something happened for real, like I’m stuck somewhere without keys or someone threw my keys away or any crazy thing that we prepare for because it is LA, I would need to know how to hot wire a car.
The whole church saw me as a goody two shoes kid, and yet when I asked this I was laughed at and told a stern no. When I probed I got the idea that he thought I would steal a car. I even explained my position and he still looked at me like I had lost it.
Today I found this on the internet…no excuse me, on PINTEREST:
It showed up on my feed without any provocation, I didn’t go look for it and yet here it is.
…I am not the only one who thinks this is valid information.
I was very pissed at the time and felt unprotected and isolated.
I want to curse him out and tell him that he wasn’t the worst godfather, but I wish I hadon’t had him. There were so many ways he pushed me down, the whole family really, and it was unnecessary. They saw their own hearts and then assumed mine was just as twisted, yet they looked at worse people and underestimated their I’ll intent.
There was so much brokenness that had no business bein in a church.
I’m healing now, but a friend I know is hurting over current circumstances in our church and I’m not sure how to react. Mostly I want to tell her to protect herself, and the other doesn’t want her to hurt period and I’m not sure what to say. I see the same pain I did then and I wonder…
Do other people really not notice the little cracks and damage they give to others? I may not know how to stop, but I still know that I am hurting someone.
God help us.