HOW I love you vs HOW you need me to love you 

“Everyone’s getting married”

I’m reading this manga and it brings up a valid point. People who are married cheat, lie, hide things, don’t know what they are doing or who for, often unhappy and judegemental. Yet, this is the ‘ideal’.

I’m …for a marriage in the same way that I am for a lot of things. 

“Sort of”

Marriage, joy, sorrow, weed, alcohol, fast driving, sky diving and other things can all be good things in the right circumstances. Joy is good, but not if it’s pretending. Sorrow is good after someone dies, but not 30 years later. Weed is good for people with cancer and similar, but can be abused. Alcohol is good for people who are mourning (proverbs 31:6-7 for christians) but can mess someone up. Fast driving: nascar, ambulance, chased by a serial killer. ALL GOOD. BUT not if it’s in a heavily populated area.

And honestly I would hate to HAVE to skydive cause my plane is crashing.

The point is that circumstances matter, just as people matter. 

I have had men look for my attention and I think “are you boring?”. That’s not an insult, this is what I need from a partner. Other people need someone who washes the dishes, slaps them on the butt and eats the food they make. 

The real honest question is what are my needs, wants, desires and what I truly need not just pretend because of…whatever…and can you satisfy those. Then reverse, what are your needs, wants desires and what you truly need from your partner and can I satisfy those? 

If not we both need to move on. It’s not only the attraction that matters, but that’s important too. Take EVERYTHING into account and at the end of the day HOW I love you and HOW you love me actually say, should we get married.

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