No more late night murder shows

Early Friday morning, I stayed up as usual, but this time I watched Psyche. 

We have two cats and I let onebout, but the other, sharper one stayed in. Right after I shooed away a cat that wasn’t ours, I heard talking. Low. Then more noises close to our house. 

The cat who stayed inside was intently focused on the noises and for the most part he doesn’t move so I knew it was something. I turned on the light as I wasn’t sure what it was, but then another noise like scraping and I immediately went for my dad. The noises stopped after that, but I wasn’t sure. 

My dad went to check and it was a mental homeless man. My dad was out there awhile, I think just watching. 

I tried to pray with my mum who was awake at this point and she began to push me to be loud and agressive with my prayer. I was out of my element to say the least. Adreneline flowing, this murder show on tv reminding me why I stopped watching in the first place and here is my mum pushing me to do something I have never liked doing. 

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. 

On the one hand I feel just a need to let this out. On the other hand I’m trying to focus on something else. On one foot (ha, ran out of hands) I’m upset with my mum and on the other foot……..I was really startled.

I saw the man my father talked about earlier that day on a walk. If it were just trash day I’d get it, but it was very close to our house and there was no reason for him to be there at 2 am. The other part…I had just been out there shooing a cat. Like less than 5 minutes. And that frightened me. 

Maybe I needed to shout and be loud with my mother….let off steam, y’know?

…I just don’t like doing that. And trying to force me to as well, it doesn’t encourage me to do so either. 

I’m still thinking this through, but I’m feeling a bit better eit her way.

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