I have been very close to ripping out my hair as I have been in a ‘story slump’. I can’t find a good book, manga, movie or tv series that I like right now. Other than the usual staples and since Doctor Who is back I feel a bit better.
But it feels like there is nothing out there for me. I have all this tea and nothing to drink it too. I mean I can find something, but nothing that lasts. There have been times that I have had 20 to choose from and I could just take my time.
I think part of the reason is that I don’t know where I’m going right now.
Books have always held answers. Answers for understanding life and the world and especially people. And right now I’m making a habit of looking inward. For my answers, for my choices, for where I want to go next.
I haven’t known what I wanted and where to go, because I didn’t know how to choose the paths that I wanted. It’s not easy to say that what I want is to go to the land of Oz for the summer and enjoy the cold weather or that I really want to go to New Orleans next spring for Mardi Gras or that I want to enjoy my friends graduation, but somehow still want to leave here and thinking that she will hate me for leaving.
She and my mum have their own dreams and all of them are here.
Except for a few goals…all of my dreams are away from here. They are in Morocco and Egypt. They’re in cars, planes-private and public, bullet trains and subways. They involve foods from everywhere and love in the places I go. They include family members that I will acquire and TONS of notebooks filled with their pictures and our adventures.
This is what makes me smile. These are where my dreams are. This the story I want to read.
I just have to choose my own dreams over my loved one’s dreams/comfort.
I have to choose MY story.