Library haul

So instead of Michael’s, I went to the library for my hauling fix šŸ˜„

On the menu this week:

  1. ‘And we’re off’ by Dan Schwartz
  2. ‘Hello Tokyo’ by Ebony Bizys
  3. ‘Artist’s Journal Workshop’ by Cathay Johnson
  4. ‘The Dragon’s Price’ by Beth any Wiggins (this is a series so I may not read it. I like to wait till they are all out.)
  5. ‘Rebels like Us’ by Liz Reinhardt 
  6. ‘Stone Field’ by Cristo Lenz
  7. Alessia Cara’s CD ‘know-it-all’
  8. ‘The Tasting Menu’ from 2013
  9. ‘Tangled, Before Ever After’ -a cartoon
  10. ‘Dear Zindagi’ -a bollywood

Also I have a ton of life cereal to get me through. 

I like putting it on my shelf and having a small temporary library.

Happy reading, watching and playing to all.

RWBY


I miss Rwby so much.

I wish so many things last week hadnt had a season finale. I’m already feeling it. All I have left is Doctor Who

Little miracles

This little moth, in the corner of the lock, was one of several bugs that influenced my day yesterday. 

He was so camouflaged that seeing him was my own personal miracle. 

The white butterfly was adorable.

…and the green baby caterpillar who some how found its way into my room, on a shelf no where near a window or door…well it was just the sweetest thing.

Took it outside with strict instructions to not die or get eaten. Hope it listened. šŸ˜›

I got my dad’s cold…or a heat cold, not sure, so having these little sweet things show up really helped my emotions. 

Hot wiring cars

My previous pastor was a gangster before he was a Christian, who later became my godfather.

When I was heavy into the dystopian gente and zombie apocalypse ideas were on the rise, I asked him if he could tell me how to hot wire a care. My thoughts were that if something happened for real, like I’m stuck somewhere without keys or someone threw my keys away or any crazy thing that we prepare for because it is LA, I would need to know how to hot wire a car.

The whole church saw me as a goody two shoes kid, and yet when I asked this I was laughed at and told a stern no. When I probed I got the idea that he thought I would steal a car. I even explained my position and he still looked at me like I had lost it. 

Today I found this on the internet…no excuse me, on PINTEREST:

It showed up on my feed without any provocation, I didn’t go look for it and yet here it is. 

…I am not the only one who thinks this is valid information.

I was very pissed at the time and felt unprotected and isolated. 

I want to curse him out and tell him that he wasn’t the worst godfather, but I wish I hadon’t had him. There were so many ways he pushed me down, the whole family really, and it was unnecessary. They saw their own hearts and then assumed mine was just as twisted, yet they looked at worse people and underestimated their I’ll intent. 

There was so much brokenness that had no business bein in a church. 

I’m healing now, but a friend I know is hurting over current circumstances in our church and I’m not sure how to react. Mostly I want to tell her to protect herself, and the other doesn’t want her to hurt period and I’m not sure what to say. I see the same pain I did then and I wonder…

Do other people really not notice the little cracks and damage they give to others? I may not know how to stop, but I still know that I am hurting someone.

God help us.

‘P.S. I Like You’ review

This week I finally got a ok book from the library. 

‘P.S. I Like You’ is a quick snack rom com that is holding some real depth to it. Underneath all of this teenage angst is this deep pain and hurt. I skipped through the beginning and got to their penpaling back and forth. I am usually intrigued by people who write to one another within a novel. It seems slightly ironic somehow, or maybe appropriate. The author deals with the young man’s sense of loss with his father that is fairly appropriate as opposed to arbitrary. Her other novels usually include a bit of realness that doesn’t simply add or eclipse the story, but is the under current professing the story. Necessary for its flow. Not the best book, but as I have said it isn’t about things being great or awesome, it’s about the moment and having the best in it for that moment. 

Trip to Michael’sĀ 

Today I finally made it to 5 Below, and the power was out. I showed up right ad the lights came on, but they made people wait till the registers came on. This led me to Michael’s next door.

A lovely crafty friend gave me two cigar boxes, both wood so I could play with my new woodburner. 

At Michael’s I got these two notebooks and these vials all for $1 each. 

I’m planning on putting more in, but not sure yet what is missing. The notebooks are just a little to wide as well so they will go under the vials when I close it. 

I was also thinking candy or confetti to go in the jars. My dad mentioned colored sand and I’m open to this if I can figure out how. I’m open to a lot of ideas right now.

Happy days. šŸ˜šŸ˜„šŸ˜šŸ˜œšŸ˜¢šŸ¤“ So many emotions going right now.

Oh and 5 Below was…interesting. nothing earth shattering, but may go back for tshirts.

RTW: Expectations vs reality

Today I had the expectation to go somewhere fun and new. 

Reality: not going.

Going tomorrow, yes, but right now it feels sucky.

There areally a lot of things that I find are like this, and it begins to wear. I spend a lot of time doing for others and so when I bring up doing something for myself it is most likely after days or hours of thought. I make sure this option is good for all involved and they are on board. More, I don’t really do for myself to the extent that is healthy, so not doing that thing is like going without for awhile and then when you are just about to eat, dinner is cancelled and you’re stuck scrounging for an answer that ends at top ramen or not eating at all. 

Not being the priority in someone’s life when they force you to make their life the priority it sucks and doesn’t make a lick of sense.

But it’s really me…if I don’t place priority of my life on my life and focus on others priority…than I’m back to being a kid waiting for her mother to cook dinner and getting stuck with top ramen.

I learned how to cook out of sheer need, grudgingly and resentment.

My life priorities shouldn’t be like that…but it requires me dealing with that old junk first I think…

Lord, bless me, I’m gonna need it.