Yesterday I said the day was awesome and not just the night of great food for a reason. 

I work with my mum on occasion to make pies and the system they have been using is very slow for the part that goes on top of the pie.

This week I tried a new method and was able to cut down the time for a pan of 30 mini pies from 1 hour and 10 minutes to 30 minutes.

I felt like I had just run a marathon and finished at record time. I was even able to teach someone else so that the process could continue without me. 

We went sooo fast it was epic.

Work for me…isn’t satisfying most of the time. There are so few mountains to climb, goals that are thrilling. I don’t tell anyone, just told myself I think, but the reason I haven’t really pushed for a particular job was because of how lackluser it gets.

Yesterday I ACHIEVED something. Not only that it impacted one of our helpers because she felt she was accomplishing something and getting stuff done. 

I had been working to cut time for months and it wasn’t till I got slightly different materials on a mistake food run that I was able to cut time. 

In high school I set up my schooling so no matter what I would get through with the least effort. They gave a list of needs, I went just there and never above. My personal finger and rebellion to that system. 

In college, I was pushed to new frontiers in art and business and enjoyed learning new things. 

My internship…it was a mix.

Thing is…there is a satisfaction I am looking for in my work that doesn’t need to occur every day, but I’d like more than just the banal zombie like existence I’ve been dealing with. 

The feeling of achievement, feeling of doing what I love, doing what fills me instead of just takes.

I have a job thing that I was invited to have and I wonder if I’m stalling because it isn’t what I need, what will fill me and in comfortable ways challenge me. 

Cuz there is a difference with being challenged with a gun to your hear and challenge to jump from a cliff into water. One is life threatening and the other is cool and thrilling. 

I want cool and thrilling challenges. …that feel that way to me and not just someone telling me that it is and only feeling bored and overwhelmed.