“I wish I were”

…but I’m not.

I am the person who stays up till 5 am and complains b/c of the s☆☆☆ I’m gonna get in the morning not because I care that I stayed up late.

I am the person who NEEDS writing but doesn’t love it. It takes too much out. Like pooping I need that but do I love it? What the heck?

I am the person who was told she’d be great and awesome by so many people, but I live at home, have no job…and I’m actually kinda okay with that because at least I’m not suicidal anymore.

I am a girl who was addicted to guys because I was pretty sure I’d end up with a horrible scum kinda guy who needed me to be his mommy and I was just prepping for that moment when I met him.

I am a woman who is totally in love with God and not faking it, like…at all.

I am a person who needs to be in a comfy introverted space just about 5 days out of 7, but then wants to dance till 5, get breakfast and then head to the beach for watching the day break. Go to church on Sunday morning, have lunch and then crash.

I am a person who can live for weeks in a messy roI’m and then flip out and have it stellar for weeks.

I am the person who can be egotistical and humble in the same moment, and have no idea when I am doing either.

I am a person who loves cuddles and hugs but can’t stand them because of all the information I get from the person.

I am the person who can be anything for anyone, but doesn’t know how to be myself just for me.

And all of this sucks and is brilliant because no one wants these things, but I think I’m amazing.

And the truth is…I really don’t wish to be anyone, just able to handle what I got.