I really want a puppy

Just a little cuteness to continue the day…


Can this be any cuter? There is a whole series and I am so looking forward to it continuing it!!!

Finding Greatness

I have been feeling a bit in the dumps as of late and this whole video has been really inspiring for me.

I began to understand that life isn’t about being awesome at whatever someone tells you to be awesome at. I don’t have to be a lawyer or a model, or a basketball player…still haven’t figured out how to get the ball in the hoop.

Point is that when I want to exercise or be creative or do something different I have felt stifled in the past because it wasn’t what other people would think is worth my time.

I had this neighbor and he would take his basketball up and down the street every day and just dribble. It was amazing to see his pride, ability and solid dynamic. He would use two balls or go super fast or switch the 2 balls from hand to hand and it was like having Michael Jordan living on our block.

I wanted to care about something like that.

I want to find something that I could have such a work ethic about that I would do it everyday and differently and just continue doing it.

So this is the one motivational piece that has just itched into my heart.

Notebook making 2

So for my birthday I created this beauty. Inside, it looks like this:

It looks like a real notebook. As opposed to some things that I have made that make me shutter. I got the outer paper from michael’s from my haul and just finished it. All together it probably took 2 days start to finish with a month in between as I vacillated on the outer paper.

The inner paper just came from a sketchbook that I had. (Happy-making) And though I sewed those papers together I stapled them to the main hard board to keep it together. This required me to use the stapler open and then fold the staples down by hand. Currently looking at betterm options on youtube. Also made a few mistakes with the board itself so I encourage anyone who does this to look at instructions carefully and then go through the steps on paper. It helps to have a list that’s from your own hand/mind.

Either way, happy birthday to me! ;D



So yesterday I was FINALLY able to see Rogue One. I took this with the blue light of my TV cuz….probably it was the benedryl I took, but still.

So, this took my family off guard. 

The opening doesn’t play the usual “where we are in time” thing and it makes sensemble after you see the whole movie because they wanted it to be a surprise of how this all connects. 

I remember people wondering if the woman who plays Rae was the daughter of the woman in this movie and I got to the end and thought “Well, that’s a NOPE.” 

Also getting to the end I was actually quite surprised that I wasn’t upset. Usually if even one good charachter dies I’m crying or droning on about unfairness, but this movie was played so well for me that it all made sense for a long run thing. 

We’re their gaps in the movie? Probably. I am not the one to notice these things though. I enjoy things for what they are in the same way that I am not always eating a Lawry’s meal every night. Even if I did, I don’t like steak enough and it is for special occasions with 2-7 year spacing in between. Sometimes I just want ramen and other times I will have the usual tacos. Point is that this movie was a solid meal that I was pleased with and connected the universe in a good…if not heartbreaking way. 


  1. I did not like Diego Luna. The minute you kill a co-conspirato, I’m done. 
  2. The trailers played Jyn Erso as a very different ‘me against the world” type so I was just expecting a harder character. 
  3. Could have done without Saw Gerrera…he was just stupid weird to me. Like who he was with the pilot versus Jyn was two different people and not in the way that my dad is one way with me and a different way with his students. This was like split personality different. 
  4. I really should have seen this in theaters. The scenery was so epic and I missed out.


  1. The CGI was off the hook for once!
  2. Being surprised by the film.
  3. Watching a historic/brand new/timey wimpy “Great Escape” that makes things make a lot more sense.
  4. Chirrut Imwe-Donnie Yen…no more needs to be said for this man.
  5. K-2SO….I need him. Alan Tudykusually scares the heck out of me, but this time I wanted a whole other movie just with his sass. Where can I get his action figure that just sasses?
  6. Also I liked Jyn’s character better than I though it was going to be I just didn’t like that it was so different in the trailers.

So this is my review. On the whole, I liked it and if they make more like this I would appreciate them.

….even though if it is about Palpatine…I will have mixed feelings….like a lot. (Can’t stand his creepiness.)

Off to watch the Blacklist! 


Yesterday I said the day was awesome and not just the night of great food for a reason. 

I work with my mum on occasion to make pies and the system they have been using is very slow for the part that goes on top of the pie.

This week I tried a new method and was able to cut down the time for a pan of 30 mini pies from 1 hour and 10 minutes to 30 minutes.

I felt like I had just run a marathon and finished at record time. I was even able to teach someone else so that the process could continue without me. 

We went sooo fast it was epic.

Work for me…isn’t satisfying most of the time. There are so few mountains to climb, goals that are thrilling. I don’t tell anyone, just told myself I think, but the reason I haven’t really pushed for a particular job was because of how lackluser it gets.

Yesterday I ACHIEVED something. Not only that it impacted one of our helpers because she felt she was accomplishing something and getting stuff done. 

I had been working to cut time for months and it wasn’t till I got slightly different materials on a mistake food run that I was able to cut time. 

In high school I set up my schooling so no matter what I would get through with the least effort. They gave a list of needs, I went just there and never above. My personal finger and rebellion to that system. 

In college, I was pushed to new frontiers in art and business and enjoyed learning new things. 

My internship…it was a mix.

Thing is…there is a satisfaction I am looking for in my work that doesn’t need to occur every day, but I’d like more than just the banal zombie like existence I’ve been dealing with. 

The feeling of achievement, feeling of doing what I love, doing what fills me instead of just takes.

I have a job thing that I was invited to have and I wonder if I’m stalling because it isn’t what I need, what will fill me and in comfortable ways challenge me. 

Cuz there is a difference with being challenged with a gun to your hear and challenge to jump from a cliff into water. One is life threatening and the other is cool and thrilling. 

I want cool and thrilling challenges. …that feel that way to me and not just someone telling me that it is and only feeling bored and overwhelmed.


Tonight I went with my family to Lawry’s it is a great steakhouse that I haven’t eaten at in a while. 

It is WAY expensive and I don’t really eat steak, so I don’t go. My parents usually go to celebrate something or other. Birthdays, anniversaries, the like. 

Tonight was amazing.

Surf and turf, lobster tail and steak with all their fixings AND creme brulee.

They have this great salad that they make in front of you and is delightful and fun.

There was this man who ate by himself and was so handsome and cool. It was fun looking at this grown man enjoy himself, by himself. I don’t see that personally.

Tonight….today was a day for the books. 

I’m so happy right now.

Michael’s haul

Today I got a wood burner as a gift. I was given a gift card. The woodburner was something I had talked to a friend about and she advised me on a different one for a lower price than over $100. This was about $15 plus tax. I got a few pieces of wood in order to test it. Ranginger from 29 cents to a dollar. The light bulb is to make a terrarium.

We shall see how all of this goes.

The hidden words

This week was a two fold change to my writing.


I locked away my journal; 2 in fact.


I wrote to myself.

Since no one is going to see this journal, well hidden, I don’t have to worry about offending someone. I can talk honestly and truthfully without having to deal without putting out SO MANY fires. 

I don’t want to have to stand up for every single thing I say, I just want it to exist. If I believe anything my mother doesn’t agree with she blanton tells me I’m wrong and says I’m not allowed to disagree. 

….I’m an adult….I do what I want…and that’s legal. (Unless it were illegal in which case I wouldn’t be doing it in the first place. Don’t like jail, not a good enough library. Too much violence all the time. No privacy. No way.)

Other friends of they were to see my unfiltered opinion would be hurt and think I am picking on them. Then I’d have to fix them like they aren’t grown ups who can fix themselves…

I want to tell myself I am doing a good job without being told I am way too into myself. I want to talk through my feelings, even if there is cursing or meaness. If I just say what people want to hear and not what I want to say…than is this really me?

If I hold back and say what is least to hurt you because you can’t handle it but it causes a big negative withdrawl in our friendship…am I really being a good friend or true to myself.

I’m still piecing through this and though the answer is right in front of me…I’m just not ready to accept it.

Respecting my feelings

Today I had two parties I was invited to. 

  1. From a dear friend and her fun husband, in the morning.
  2. From a bro type who is celebrating his wife, in the evening.

I went to the morning one, but was incredibly tired and warm so I slept. When I went to get up for the second party I was out of gas entirely. It was that feeling when you are dragging your body out of the grave it seems and your mind is swimming through a fog.

As I wrestled with going, my Beloved asked me a question:

Will you honor your feelings or the feelings of your friends?

I have always put the feelings of my friends ahead of my own. Even as I…let a lot happen that shouldn’t, big or small. 

My Beloved has been showing me my feelongs and how different they are from my logical thoughts, how many social laws are in place to care for others and don’t even include me.

So today I had the express privelage of my first real assignment. Will I honor my feelings or honor others feelings? Will I honor this voice inside of myself who is constantly checking with God or my friends voice who are living their life as their own and not necessarily including my needs or wants in theirs?

Notebook making

Today I did a notebook letter.

Took me a few days to cobble all toget her because I also added this:

It is a whole notebook filled with printed words and pisctures. It will be my first fill-in journal. I printed at the library using powerpoiPowerPoint to make placing easier. Then taped in. The outside was a cereal box taped to a extra brown bag. Sewed the white paper in with my machine.

The idea is that I like fill-in journals like “wreck this journal” by kero smith, but don’t have the extra cash right now for it. There are others as well, but they are for every body so they aren’t tailored to my needs. This very much is. I am so pleased with how it turned out. 

I have a few more pages but will be dealing with those later. I just wanted some basics first to see how I like it. 🙂