Maybe you are actually something special. –

I have always felt…the way this author talks about. Most days I wouldn’t identity as a fraud, but I would say that I’m not the best person in the world. I have other, harsher criticisms for myself that are more personally break-worthy. 

Over the past few years I bring these to God and he has shown me how wrong I was about myself. How wrong other people were about me and even themselves. Later I broufht thsee to my trusted inner circle and they too began to say how wrong my past ideas were. One friend cried at my pain, and the other straight up apologized, saying that if she had known what I was going through she would have something years ago. 

This…season…I have been looking at what it is to be…fully me. I didn’t know who that was and once I found out I wasn’t okay with it. Not possible. People aren’t that nice and neither am i. How would I even exist if that wereally the truth. I refuse to embrace this. 

But I’m a sucker when it comes to God and I quickly relented to this new way of thinking and began to look at ways to build healthy boundaries and coping mechanisms as I learned more and more.

Then…this week. I asked God about partners and where mine was…he didn’t answer till the next day. The idea? All those things that I hadn’t wanted to accept about myself I would need to share with this partner of mine. I hadn’t even considered it. (More on the morrow)

Sharing this part of me with people? The parts of me that go beyond simple introvert vs extrovert but go deeper? I blatantly said no and walked away…but what if I’m not a fraud? What if there’s more that a relationship could include than simply liking similar things, sharing the same bed and eating at the same table?