This week I have been plugging into myself. I exercise because I have to and not because I want to and that kinda sucks. I used to love running and swimming, but I lost access to a pool and then after middle school, PE wasn’t really pushed.
Not having that push to run or intreact with others makes it diffucult to want to do these things. Without someone telling me I had to I became self consious. I saw the way people who were overweight felt when I would exercise. A part of me was just waiting for my body to gain weight naturally and then I wouldnt get the looks or care about being called a skinny witch by the media or people who weren’t quite friends but in my circle.
I don’t like making people feel bad and having it done to me is also not cruel when I’m not being the mean girl or looking down. On any body!
Now that I am doing small walks everyday I find I am happier. Not sure why. Not everyday but 5/7?
I got a new journal and have slowly begun to wreck it but honestly I feel like I don’t do enough. So, I switched to putting poetry in one place and going to my old writing to see where and when the feeling to stop writing happened. I got the poetry in so the next big step is 2016 writing.
New year and I feel like all I’m doing is cleaning up the last one and letting it go. However, I feel like we are all doing that.