Am I the hero or the backup?

(Los Angeles Public Library)

I have two photos taken in the same place but from different angles. The light you see is the same but because of my phones camera I could either show off the walls or the light itself.

This has all kinds of “wise” connotations, but for me, this week, I am seeing the sides of myself. I can either focus on the light or focus on the walls. Through the lens of other people’s focus I can see things differently but never the full scope. When I put down that focus, I can see my world in its fullness. 

Which is difficult.

I don’t want to see the good in a rapist nor do I want to see the bad in its victim. Black is black and white is white and never the twain shall meet.

But my eyes see more. My eyes see all of it and that is overwhelming. I want to see parts of life and not be at all compassionate. 

My friend once told me that just because I can see the good in bad people and bad in good people doesn’t make what they do or what has happened to them irrelevant, less or more. That fullness helps me see them and love them in ways they need to be loved. There is balance.

Having my metaphorical “other people view” camera is good. Having my whole view is better. 

Because it’s mine.

I’m the hero of my life. If I don’t carry my view and only others than my story will lack. More than that it will be more like the main characters of fight club, split in two.

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