LA Christmas

Today I celebrate the birth of one who gave me life. Twice. Today also I spent time going to the place I love. I was even a bit self oriented and didn’t walk with the people. In my hurry I could only focus on that skyline. 

My friend later rushed ahead and as I walked I talked to God. We spoke on how little I felt in the season of things this year and he asked me what was in my heart. He helped me look at what I didn’t want to see. I’m so used to going with the flow and this year, such a precious time…I found I wanted this year to be special, to have layers of life and deep joy that can even surpass laughter. 

My heart cried out for a depth that only God could belly. 

I felt his smile as he told me that his heart cried for the same thing. This is my first time doing something different from my family and my own choice so I had to deal with a little guilt. Still as I saw the snow on the mountains and the blue cold water…my heart wept with a hope for what is. My God who loves me so much; lived and died and live again. This depth helps me in ways I don’t yet have words for. 

And yet how glad I am.