“If you end your training now – if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did – you will become an agent of evil.”-Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back
So I felt stupid recently when I sat up and realized that the reason I couldn’t hear from God was because I had fallen into old habits and been doing all that I used to do. I wasn’t talking out my problems, I was stuffing again. I got physically ill all over again.
When I had this moment of spiritually leveling up and getting answers to old questions, I thought I was done. I so wanted to be done. I FELT done.
I had a cough and got antibiotics, it wasn’t until later that I found I was severely blocked nasally. I didn’t know until I got loose even a little and suddenly I had this aching headache. There was so much tension it was as if there was none. It was so odd!
My path with God isn’t easy, I have to let go of a lot of ideas that were fully formed. After so much time I began to think that I was all good, because I felt better. So I threw out all my basics and automatically tripped twice over.
I want to run out and tell the world about what I have learned from God but I’m not even done with my training. I don’t even have outside experience. It’s like I’m in college with God and I’m trying to get a job. I didn’t do that when I WAS in college. I got an internship but it was a lot on my plate.
I write on this blog to remember all that I’m learning in the same way that I kept notes in class. Notes can be given to others and CliffNotes has made a great deal of money off of this, but that doesn’t mean that I should start a class on this and call myself an expert.
Cutting off endings Is very frustrating, ask anyone who has played Mass Effect 3 before the DLC was attached. I waited until everything was in so I didn’t have this problem, but for many it was quite aggravating. For my non-gamers it was like reading a book and the next in the series comes out 15 years later. TV people, what if you never got to see the last episode of your favorite series? The episode where they all go home, or the two get married, never, and everyone refuses to tell you and the internet has nothing as well. I could go on, but I’m getting hungry and want to stop.
Point is that learning how to go to the end is also part of the journey, building up enough steam, community, resources internally and externally so that you can accomplish what you set out to do. This is also part of all training and is a bigger lesson than most of us want to handle. Finishing strong like those athletes that take another lap after the marathon is over instead of falling down in a faint 1 mile before.