‘Reality is a figment of your imagination.’

I woke up today from an action packed dream, wasn’t quite a nightmare, really, but either way I wouldn’t go back to sleep in self-defense. I’m a grown woman and yet, you could almost say that I’m afraid of my dreams.

There was a show called ‘Perception’ and it talked about reality. You only need to watch up t0 1:30.

How we distinguish anything and everything from reality is never simple. Each person really does it differently. Maybe it is just the physical, if I can’t see it, feel it, or touch it than it isn’t real. This is fine but what if you have never ever met or seen a Chinese person? Do they now not exist? Are you so infallible that the whole of China doesn’t exist but what you see on a map?

Or maybe you include the spiritual realm, I may not understand all of it but it exists. This is a great starting point to me but also has its own pitfalls. How do you survive in a world that you cannot see, feel or touch but do experience? How do you not stub your toe on spiritual cabinet? This is said jokingly but the concept is still the same, we are not entirely prepared for the things we cannot see. I have spent a lot of my life doing just this, learning the laws and rules of an unseen world, yet and still I find I am barely functioning.

Many people cut off the emotional part of themselves for the exact reason the professor mentions. The emotions can be too fluid, explosive and uncontrollable often unusable to most people. Scorpion, Sherlock, House these are all shows that focus on the fact that emotions are our worst enemies and to cut them out of our lives would actually benefit the world. Yet, the problem with this is that emotions do exist and they infiltrate all of the time; cutting them off merely builds them up to explode or they remain like a pair of wings that you simply don’t use and one day need but have no clue how to use.

I don’t stand or sit in judgment of the world; I sit looking at myself. I see the world and want to connect, if there is hurt I want to help, not fix. What if there was a way to have the emotions, the physical, the spiritual and the core of yourself all together and still do well in this world? This is what I want to help with. Instead of cutting out some part of yourself, have all of them working together. Imagine not having to fight your feeling or suppressing them like Spock. (I’m clear that this isn’t the best way to express what he does.) Instead of choosing the physical world OR the spiritual, choosing all of them.

I have so much of myself that is wonderful because God made it to be so and I love him for it. There is so much I have disliked about myself because the world told me to do so and I want revenge for that. “Revenge is mine, I shall repay” says God. So maybe I won’t use those words. Maybe I will say instead, the world messed me up…so I think I will mess it up to. What if instead of letting it stay as it is and continue to mess up everyone and my children and theirs, I will instead mess up the world so bad that it can only become what t was made to be instead of living in fear of what it could be. People have created cars and airplanes and the internet and so many great things like toilets, hot water heaters and fridges that have made our lives better.

And I think they can do so much more. I believe in this world even as I see it fall into despair, hurt and worse.

I also think that they are so used to cutting off their limbs because it is all they know how to do that they are left with nothing but the vaguest possibilities of what they are possible of.

This disconnect… 🙂 This is what I want to help with, with the little time I have here.
Stop fighting ourselves and live fully.