This year is the most I have ever seen for getting people out there to vote; was at the movies and saw an ad. Had a librarian give me the most logical and stirring reason I have heard in a long time.
I wanted to….and found a flare in my abdomen.
For months I have found that any time I have to deal with stressful situations of a certain kind, it affects either my stomach or my neck. I can work for hours and that leads me to be mentally exhausted. The balancing act is still to be found.
I can choose to engage in all these things and when I do I find myself in pain as I seem to not be able to handle it in this moment.
As a person with ‘go-get-em’ parents…this is illogical. My basic training is to move past how I feel and do what needs doing and get the job done.
…I guess my body is done with this concept and is telling me so in volumes of pain.
I haven’t told my family beyond my parents and less than my fingers of friends. How and when is there a chance to explain to people who are fully engaged in their own lives and issues that you have a major issue that is forcing you to take a step back from some of the more important things in life. I can’t talk about racism and how it is affecting our nation; voting and any candidate or issue.
What if you were in New York on 9/11 or in Washington as MLK stood up to start his “I had a dream speech’ or a little further, for my history buffs, what if you were in Israel at the time of the crucifixion and for each of these moments you were at home. For whatever reason, you were sick or taking care of someone or just plain sleep, and these moments simply passed you by.
I have felt like this for years honestly, this pressing feeling that I am missing something so vastly important and I am simply on the wrong side of the planet, or sleep or don’t have the right skills to do anything even if I were there.
More later on this, but I want to say this:
I am choosing to protect myself right now, my heart, my soul, mind and body and if someone has a problem with me choosing this over more long term issues…thank you for showing me that I don’t matter to you. It helps me to choose myself even more.