We’re gonna have some fun tonight


I know I have been posting a lot of videos but the truth is I need music in my life and because of…things…I haven’t had a connection to music as I would like. (FYI you can burn your wi-fi connection so it won’t work, so don’t let your phone overheat!)

There have been so many days where I just wanted to run away from my life but life isn’t like this anymore. A dear, DEAR friend once asked me where I would go, would running really help, what was I really running from? He pushed me to stay where I was and really begin exploring who I am and what was bothering me.

A concept that came up in that time was a ‘filling the void’ experiment. I think this came from Tim Ferriss of the 4 hour workweek, but honestly I’m really not sure. But for 48 hours you pretend that you have retired. You need evidence of course like photos and video and really this is about you showing that you can ‘run away from home’ AND ENJOY IT! I found I didn’t have a lot I enjoyed. Just a lot of things I was cool with doing for friends sake. I didn’t put a lot into myself, but I noticed this only recently.

I began to look for things that really interested me. I went through a lot of things. I found out how passionate I have always been about writing but this took a long time for me to agree to. It felt wrong to enjoy something so easy, so ‘impractical’. Being an artist isn’t really encouraged no matter what anyone says about ‘following your dreams’. Pshaw.

Finding out what I enjoyed took a lot of experimentation and I didn’t find a few, but I am still learning. Writing right now has filled up my time a lot. I write personally to keep me on track. (Bullet journaling) I have a pen pal. I also have a story that I’m writing. And we don’t want to forget this blog 😉

Not that I like it, but it was good that my friend pushed me to face my inner issues and struggles. Finding out how much has been hidden inside and having the freedom to at least look at those things and think about letting them out into the open, is what is keeping me going most days. I may not be what my family or friends need from me right now, but I’m what I need and that seems valid.