Mom or Dad?

Irreconcilable Differences PosterRacism seems to be all we Americans talk about right now.
No judgment, just the truth.

My family is very hurt about this, enough that they seek racial reconciliation.
I don’t join in any of their conversations though.

It’s the reason  never have.

I am mixed.

I have enough colors and cultures in my blood to make over 30 people.

So who should I choose to stand beside?

I am not a stupid woman. both my parents fought hard so that I would be well-rounded, observant, compassionate and cautious. Funnily, they succeeded, but it has left me at a slight disadvantage. Though I can see the world as it is, I have yet to find my part in it.

I agreed with a friend who was also mixed that said it’s not right that a person dies for selling illegal DVD’s. I agreed with a Hispanic friend who said it’s not right that people are crying out for the death of cops.

Imagine, two parents are in the middle of a divorce: Constantly at war and showing the absolute worst part of themselves. Children in those moments are expected to take sides. If you think otherwise you most likely have and idealistic albeit improbable view on relationships.
Maybe no one says it either, But underneath the kid begins to think,  who they will have to choose. Mom or Dad.

When dad says horrible things about mom and the kid bites their lip. *How dare he disrespect my mom.*
When the mom unloads about the horrors of dad and the child balls their fists. *My dad is not this evil man!*

The silence is just as unbearable as talking as talking produces rebuke or that shake of the head that shows you just how slow or young they think you are.

Neither is right and both are being not only disrespectful but debasing themselves lower and lower all out of the name of hurt and pain that has lain dormant for years! Every small, irrelevant thing, every medium, large and horrible thing, suddenly pour out and abated on this couple and they do not care for the one who did none of it who also must stand under the sludge, because truly:


Must I CHOOSE a side and end up hurting a relationship and myself in the process?

Must I limit myself to pain or more pain?

Must my words mean nothing because this is YOUR fight?

Are you so hurt and broken that you do not see the hurt you are now causing?