2013 I started my first blog called Ariel Hopes for many reasons and I pushed myself for 1 month to write. And I did, and it felt amazing. I just wanted to have a piece of me where anyone could see.
This year though I have felt more and more stifled to the point of sickness. The people who know me, my family didn’t ask me how I was as I got worse and quieter, this end with me at the hospital ER. They were so nice and caring there I wondered what the heck was wrong with my family and those I met before.
This got me here. I have been so preoccupied with helping everyone and taking care to give them space that I haven’t given me ANY space. Not to hurt or be loved and seen. I’m not putting this all on my family, I should have spoken up. But there is still a lot of pain and no plans on how to fix it.
So this is my start. I need hope in 2013. In 2016 I need to roar and be loud and do it MY way.
I know that to get you to read this I need to be and do things a certain way. I need to advertise and sell myself….anybody else feel like a prostitute that way? I’m not that person….no…I’m not that woman.
So here’s my new deal(Roosevelt anyone?):
- I will do this for one year.
- I will do this my way. No matter what comes out or how.
- I will not hide this but I won’t be going out of my way to promote it either.
- I will include ALL that I’m into. If you don’t like God or stories….please don’t harass me. This is part of who I am.
- I will do this for me. I am a rare individual and if I don’t jive with you, in this blog-sucks for you, I’m awesome.
- This is about getting stuff down. I’m gonna suck at this a little and look back at some things and want to delete and right now, how I’m feeling, that is okay with me.