PT: Addiction

I am addicted to Tv, to stories of any kind really but videos really hold me.

My life is so boring most of the time. I didn’t think about this until I began to see how much I watch television or just a video, or how many books I have read even though there are people. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes my reading has become escapism or even better a shot in the arm. A mechanism to help myself to stay alive. I have been trying to stop watching as much and failing. It was after a self examination of several other things in my life that I found something.

Many times I a find myself in conversations with very interesting people and they are talking about wonderful things and I have the vaguest impression of boredom and inanity. It has been there so long I had always missed that and yet the more I read about self I learn that I as an individual have to listen to the smaller noises inside of myself in order to fix myself.

Ex: hunger indicates need for nourishment. Let that time go past and the indicator goes away even though the need is still there. Sometimes shaking of the external limbs occurs and a few other science-y things that I can’t see nor explain well. Leave it long enough and your hair can change color, even longer and ya die.

I have ignored the fact that within my life I do not enjoy or dig into the things that fill me. I do not bring them to the table of relationships because I have learned not to. I do not do a lot of things.

I am finding more and more people who enjoy what I enjoy and yet I would never have found them if I hadn’t brought it up in conversation. I have been so willing to produce fruit for others and in turn have forsaken my own leaves and thus nourishment.

This is my personal: I like Doctor who and stories and sci-fi and technology but I like them really because of the hope they provide for more than what is around me, they have travel and pioneering legends that I doubt I will ever enjoy (unless science takes us really far in the next 10 years) they do things that inspire my soul and I dream about. But I speak THAT language when I am involved with others and they don’t know that language and so become uninterested and bored…so I gave up. I didn’t think to explain the whys since I didn’t think about them until recently.

This is a great cartoon from Zenpencils that I hope will intrigue you called,¬†You aren’t like them.

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