Pride and money

A friend of mine said something amazing: children are easy and 3 questions will fix most things: hunger, tired or pain. Adults are the same way but they have pride. they won’t say when they are tired or hungry or in pain of any kind because of their pride.

I’d never thought of it that way.

At some point taking naps became bad (you’re a baby), even if you really needed it or just wanted a little extra rest.

Wanting a fifth slice of pizza was terrible, even if you needed or wanted it.

Mourning for a loved one was fine, until everyone was done with the situation and ‘why aren’t you already done with this?’ becomes the thing no one truly says, except for the bold ones, but begins to grow and show itself in the awkward conversations.

‘I love you but…’ becomes the way of things. No one is allowed their own flow except for the ones who fight for it.

I am naturally against fighting because it just takes too much work, but recently I am finding that if I don’t begin to fight for the life I want…I’m gonna be trampled.

My hopes for me life, my dreams for the future and all of those great things have become gnawed at and the edges are beginning to fray as people and what is left over after they leave begin to push and step on all I want to believe in. If I don’t have those things, how will I live? I must have some energy to thrive on in order to grow.

I have found though that people treat a change in certain aspects like I am taking money from their very skin. They begin to feel their way of life and their view tilting and instead of enjoying the roller coaster they tell the ride to stop and try to shut down the park.

I’m not asking you to give me $3000, I want to think differently is my path.

but that path is not their own and it mirrors to them what is inside of their hearts and the forgotten dreams and hopes that were trampled by someone else and the pain of old rushes in.

2 choices now:

  1. Choose to deal with the pain and regrow those old dreams and hopes and bring them out into the open where the sun and ants and birds can help nurture it and spread its seeds. And no matter what see a new thing come to life.
  2. Shut down the person who started the pain in the here and now as if they did it and squash every single part of this thing that caused you to relive the old pain in the first place.